It is a Saturday night. Josh Kinahoi is heading for a breather at Dee Why rockpool when he sees a crying woman, and asks her if she is OK.
His actions might seem random to some, intrusive to others, and super caring to yet another cohort. For Josh, it’s just the way he is raised. “When I see someone in distress my instinct is to act,” he says. “There are a few interesting people around. I just want to check-in and see if she is all right.”
It’s about 11.30pm. It can get quite noisy at his home and Josh actively seeks solace. The rockpool is where he goes to recharge. “I generally don’t get the time to sit and think about my family or situation,” he says.
And now the big bloke in a wheelchair is showing kindness to a stranger. He offers to accompany her home. She calls her boyfriend on her phone. Josh also speaks to the man. Josh sees her safely to her house.
That’s how Manly Observer comes to meet Josh – the girl escorted home writes to us wanting to say a public thanks to the kind stranger who helped calm her and keep her feeling safe in a vulnerable moment. So we reach out to discover a little more about the everyday people around us.
Josh is originally from Tonga, lived in the inner-west when he first came to Australia, and moved to Narraweena when he married Elenoa in 2000. The couple has 10 children, aged from 26 to 7.
“I used to be a security guard,” he says. “Worked at nightclubs in the city.”
But since 2019 Josh has been in a wheelchair. That is when a rare spinal cord condition cuts the blood supply to his legs. He ends up a patient at the Royal Rehab Hospital in Ryde, where he remains for the next eight months.
He recalls: “It’s during Covid. When I come out of hospital I apply for jobs but I have to tell them about my wheelchair. They lose interest after that.”
Back in the day, Josh plays rugby for West Harbour. “I start in the centres but finish my playing as a prop,” he says.
He also coaches junior rugby league with the Narraweena Hawks. “I miss that,” he says. “Teaching techniques, like tackling.”
Nowadays, he still goes to the gym where he does some work on his legs, though mostly the workout is on the upper-body.
The chair adds pressure to family life. “Elenoa is very supportive but it’s a big adjustment for my kids. They are used to me going to work, cooking and cleaning, and mowing the lawns. I still cook. But there is a lot of change. Especially the younger kids, they might ask ‘why can’t we go kick a ball at the park’.
“There is a lot of change. Especially the younger kids, they might ask ‘why can’t we go kick a ball at the park.”
Some time after losing the strength in his legs, Josh is asked by the Royal Rehab to present to others who are just starting their wheelchair journey. “As inspiration, I guess,” he says. “I talk about my personal life and how I manage in a wheelchair. I can feel there is a lot of self-doubt among the listeners about their new life.”
He says the biggest issue with being in the chair is the scrutiny: “People look at you differently, and judge you.” He remembers: “Crossing the road (unassisted) and a man yells out from his car … ‘get up and walk – stop being lazy’.
“Or people might see you coming on a path and not make any attempt to move.”
As a positive, he says being in a chair has given him a different perspective. “You don’t know what a person is going through that day,” he says.
On the night he meets the upset woman, Josh says he feels she could be someone’s mother, or sister or something.
His calm tone, reassuring, reminds me: “We all have our moments.”
