Parenting can be tough gig and often a helping hand is a godsend.
Seaforth’s Dalwood Spilstead Services is revisiting a program where volunteers regularly call in on families who need some support.
At one time, Dalwood Spilstead used to bring volunteers and some families together in a coordinated program. But it almost ceased due to the Covid pandemic, and staff and funding issues. Now the organisation is seeking a new raft of volunteers to help tackle increasing demand.
Elanora grandmother Julie knows the importance of the service as she began visiting Michelle’s family some years ago. “It’s about having someone they can rely on who has their best interests at heart,” she says. “It’s been wonderful watching Michelle’s two boys grow up.”
She visits the family once-a-week. “Different families have different needs. For me, it’s about being an extra pair of hands and someone they can rely on.”
She believes the secret is being consistent. “If I go on holiday somewhere, I might send them a postcard, just to stay in touch,” she says.
Michelle says her kids love the postcards and have made a collection of them. She says Julie has become a valued family friend. “That’s how I introduce her to people. Because that’s what she is … a friend of our family.”
Is this the day she comes?
She says the boys, aged 8 and 9, ask every week ‘is this the day she comes’. “It’s having that grandparent figure in their lives,” Michelle says. “Sometimes it’s also having a person to talk to that isn’t mum!
“Another wonderful thing about Julie is that she is super non-judgemental. I never feel judged by her. I also feel as though I have impacted her. There’s a mutual exchange.”
Michelle says one of the biggest concerns going into this arrangement was feeling that she would be judged. “But If I could go back, I would tell myself to not think about it and to just do it.”
Program coordinator Emma Selby says traits of a good volunteer in this scenario are compassion, resilience, being non-judgemental, and calmness under pressure (taking things in your stride).
“Volunteers might be retired people who want to give back to families,” she says. “Often they have been a parent themselves or have experience supporting children and families, and can directly relate to the issues at hand.”
Julie believes it’s the role of the volunteer support person to help parents realise that no-one gets it completely right all the time.
“I’m like a neighbour – not invasive, just there.”
She loves being a friendly support: “I’m like a neighbour – not invasive, just there.” Moreover, she says the relationship has expanded her own horizons: “I’m engaged with these boys and I want to see them do well.”
On any given day Michelle and Julie might chat over a cuppa, fold some washing, or do whatever. “Sometimes we have some really beautiful conversations,” Michelle says.
“It’s been one of the best things for our family.”
Meet Sue
For the past six years, Sue Fraser has also been helping families with extra support in their Northern Beaches home.
The retiree visits their home once a week to assist parents, who often have no other family support and need a helping hand.
Sue is one of five volunteers who are part of Dalwood Spilstead’s home volunteer program, but at least 10 more are needed to help families in the area.
The Dalwood Spilstead Service at Seaforth, provides health, education and support services for families with children up to 17 years old, who are experiencing stressful situations that create difficulties in caring for, and parenting their children.
Its volunteers visit families at home for a few hours each week to help with children’s activities, walking or providing some parental education.
“The first role I had was to visit a young mum who had just had a baby. She and her husband were from overseas and had no family support here,” Sue said.
“I would visit her for a few hours each week, have a cup of tea, chat and then I would support mum in caring for the baby while she got on with her chores. I did that for about a year and then mum went back to work.
“For the last five years, I have been visiting a delightfully caring family with twin girls. (The girls) were four when I started and they have just turned 10. Again, it was for tea, time to talk to Mum and play with the girls. Hopefully it also helped Mum with her English.
“Being a mum can be one of the hardest jobs in the world and if you also have other difficulties in your life, knowing that other people care, can be comforting.”
Successful applicants will undertake a training program with Dalwood Spilstead Services over eight weeks. Enquiries should be directed to Emma on 9951 0327 or emma.selby@health.nsw.gov.au
