Wife, mum, entrepreneur, vegan and community activist Melissa Burgess has learned strategies to deal with her life stuff. And a big part of this is about giving back to the community she holds so dear.
Her positive ideas are often overflowing and need to be reined-in but Manly’s Mel Burgess says she never wants them to stop.
They continue to appear notwithstanding obstacles such as a significant neurological condition, childhood trauma and chronic health concerns.
Presently, her ‘ideas’ concentrate on the Sydney Rd shop she founded called Op for Change, a non-profit social enterprise and op shop that donates 100% of profits back to the community.
Mel married Ian in 1988 and the couple has a daughter and three sons. They range in age from 29 to 19. She has called Manly home since the mid-80s.
“I just think it’s a fantastic place,” she says. “It’s not perfect by any means. Yet I’ve watched it get better and better.”
But life presents challenges and Mel has had to face many throughout hers. Despite these, evidently she has the ability to pivot.
“I think one of my strong points is finding creative solutions to things,” she says. “I have good out-of-the-box thinking. But this can derail me, sending me off on tangents, instead of drilling down and doing what’s in front of me.”
All this mental activity is the way her brain works, something she learned about in her late-40s when she was diagnosed with ADHD. “I always knew something was off,” she says. “I knew I had strengths in some areas but struggled in others. As I got older and spent more time with school friends, workmates or even other school parents … I could see how they had it all together. And you think – what are they doing that I don’t know about?”
While the diagnosis was ‘a game changer’ as she describes it, Mel says there was still grieving, thinking about what might have been: “I regret never going to university. I thought I’d hate it, and that it would be just like school.
“School had been a complete disaster. I spent my entire schooling being told ‘you need to apply yourself more’, knowing intrinsically I should be doing better than I was.”
But ADHD was not the only issue. It’s saddled with an unsettled childhood, tainted by insecurity and a difficult family life. Mel’s father quit many jobs and, along with her sister and her mother, the family was constantly on the move. From Beaconsfield to Coffs Harbour, Wahroonga, Hornsby, Pearl Beach, Woy Woy – just to name a few. They also lived in Adelaide for a time.
“My parents loved me but it was hard. It is hard when alcohol is involved. I felt like I couldn’t fit in anywhere. When we turned up at a new school I was always ‘the new girl’. As I got older and wiser I channelled that insecurity into resilience. Once I started to trust myself.
She says her mum tried to flee a couple of times but in those days recourse was non-existent. Mel is pleased Op for Change allows her to be involved with some of the shelters and organisations that unfortunately were not available to her mum.
“We had to deal with things that no child should have to deal with,” she says. “I’ve come from literally nothing because my father kept walking out of jobs.”
Now more sombre, Mel looks away: “I still have some trouble talking about the past.”
Mel looks away: “I still have some trouble talking about the past.”
Her father passed away some years ago and her mother is in the degenerative throes of Alzheimer’s, at an aged-care facility near Bathurst. Mel confesses she is in the leafy centre of the sandwich generation.
In addition, she also lives with chronic pain because of fibromyalgia; and with the condition lipoedema, which is an accumulation of fat cells. “I want to advocate for hidden disabilities – I don’t want things to be hidden. People might not realise that others are living with chronic conditions which are part of their everyday lives.”
She says she started Op for Change partly for the need to do something: “To get my mind active. It’s been a huge relief to not sit around and feel sorry for myself. It’s given me purpose.
“And I’ve always been really passionate about the waste we generate, where things go, the amount of it. It really is unsustainable.”
As we speak, her gentle strength emanates, though she is unaware of this. It is inspiring and I make a couple of remarks about it, but her focus is elsewhere.
“It’s interesting that in a world which is meant to be more connected than ever, people describe themselves as feeling lonely,” she says.
“You might not strike-up conversation with someone waiting in-line for a coffee, but at the counter we have conversations with people we might never have met otherwise – people we now feel we really know.”
In the second-half of 2024 Mel was contacted by Manly MP James Griffin’s office and told she was being nominated for 2025 Manly Woman of the Year. She achieved this. “It was an amazing experience. Being recognised while in a room of other nominees from different electorates … it was a bit of a pinch me moment!
“As a child, I always wanted to be something special. I didn’t fully know what that was. I’ve done many different things. Dabbled in lots. More than dabbled in others. Everything from acting, theatre sports, graphic design, editor of a photography magazine, and setting up a loyalty program for Nikon which was a new concept.
“I came from an era where the career-woman thing was big – not so much motherhood. But once I arrived at motherhood, I went, ‘Oh, this is really nice’.
One of Mel’s ideas is to build upon an existing promotion in the shop, Blind Date with a Book. Novels are wrapped in brown paper with minimal descriptions of what’s inside. People take the books home in anticipation of the big reveal!
“I want to run a book club on a weeknight where people can have a drink, browse in the shop, and talk about one of their ‘mystery’ books.”
She lights up talking about this. Enthusiasm bubbles to the surface: “Sometimes it feels like there are too many ideas and not enough time.”
One such great idea is the Op for Change Winter Wonderland Charity Fashion Show on 20 June at 2pm. The charity events will showcase a curated runway of preloved winter fashion, followed by an inshore shopping and styling night. Book your tickets for that here.
