This is the story of Balgowlah mum Keri Alexander, who through her own immense personal loss and a shifty and frustrating funeral experience, performed the ultimate pivot – from wedding celebrant to funeral director.
Keri founded A Better Way Funerals in 2018, determined to offer an independent, intimate and genuinely local service – the antithesis of the big funeral homes, which she says can sometimes be driven by corporate targets and profit motives.
Did you know that more than one third of funeral homes and services in Australia are owned by just two corporate entities?
“I established A Better Way Funerals after experiencing firsthand the shortcomings of the traditional funeral industry when my mother passed – the funeral service we used left us disheartened,” Keri says. “The push to upsell was overwhelming, the environment cold and uninviting, and the funeral director’s appearance lacked the respect we needed during that difficult time.
“The experience helped me create a different kind of service, where compassion and understanding take precedence over profit. My goal is to ensure that every family I work with feels genuinely cared for and valued.”
A Better Way Funerals is proud to be a local, independent, Australian owned and female-led business, providing families on the Northern Beaches with personal service.
“Families are my top priority and I promise extraordinary respect and kindness throughout the entire process,” Keri says.
Before founding A Better Way Funerals, Keri spent 12 years working as a celebrant “which was invaluable as it helped me develop a deep understanding of how to listen and respond to clients’ needs.”
Her ability to connect with people and help them deal with grief was changed forever on a very personal level when her beloved son, Baxter, lost his life to an aggressive melanoma at just 28 years of age.
“The pain of losing a child is indescribable. No words can capture the agony of watching your child’s life slip away. As a mother, you feel responsibility to protect your children, and when you can’t, the heartbreak is unimaginable.
“My grief is compounded by the loss of who I was before Baxter’s death; life will never be the same.
“I share this story not for sympathy but to help others understand that I truly know what I means to endure profound loss.
“Grief is unique to each person, and so too should be the celebration of a loved one’s life.”
When you’re organising a funeral while dealing with grief, it can feel like a lot to handle. Keri offers a very personal and comprehensive service, is always first point of contact, and is available 24/7.
“My number one piece of advice? Find a funeral director who makes you feel comfortable and reassured, someone who you feel you can trust. Once you’ve got that covered, we’ll take care of everything for you. Most people haven’t planned a funeral before, so it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed.
“We will not only help to plan and arrange a funeral service and celebration, but also handle all the notifications, the forms that need to be completed and all the legal components. This way families can focus on what really matters at the time of passing.
“If possible, try to reach out to a funeral director before your loved one passes.
This way, you’re not trying to make decisions on the fly when you are overwhelmed with shock and grief.”
So what is the purpose and value of a funeral?
“I see a funeral as a special moment for families and friends to come together and find closure. It’s a chance to remember and celebrate a loved one, share stories, and offer support to one another. It helps us all pause and reflect on the fragility of life, putting aside our everyday worries to connect in a meaningful way.
“For my own son, we celebrated his life in a way that truly reflected his passions. We gathered at Tania Park, laid out picnic blankets under the sun, and organized a huge soccer match. His friends, family, and everyone who had shared the soccer field with him over the years, including his coaches, participated. Soccer was one of Baxter’s great loves, and it was incredibly fitting to honour him this way. Some of his friends, who are part of the band Eagle Eye Jones, performed a song they wrote for him, and another friend serenaded us with his ukulele. It was a day filled with love and remembrance, truly unforgettable.”
Keri has also had the honour of fulfilling some truly unique and heartfelt requests for funeral services.
“Just last week, a family wanted to give their father a Viking send-off, as they had promised him. They crafted a beautiful Viking ship using local grasses, twigs, and branches. We placed a candle and a small portion of his ashes into the ship and sent it on its way across a serene lake. It was a wonderfully natural and organic way to honour his wishes.
“And it goes to show no one should feel stuck with just one way of saying goodbye. Everyone is unique, and this should be honoured. That’s at the heart of my approach to A Better Way Funerals.”
Apart from Vikings, Keri is also experienced in dealing with other cultural traditions.
“While I am not religious, I am deeply spiritual and open to understanding and respecting different cultural practices. I’m always happy to collaborate with priests or religious leaders for families who desire a religious service. Many of these services take place in churches, where I coordinate everything as usual and then hand over to the priest or minister to conduct the service.”
Keri is passionate about her work as a funeral director, and takes every opportunity to educate people about the choices they have in all aspects of a funeral.
Should we all be more open to discussing our funeral wishes with loved ones?
“Absolutely. There’s a significant fear and stigma attached to talking about death, yet it’s something that eventually touches us all. I’ve made sure my boys know exactly what I want when my time comes!
“This work is not just a job for me – it’s what helps me heal, too. By holding space for others, I find solace in knowing that I can help guide others through their grief, just as I continue to navigate my own.”
- Keri’s website https://www.abetterwayfunerals.com.au includes a lot of helpful and comforting information including checklists and a guide to what costs to expect.
A Better Way Funerals
Balgowlah
Phone: 0401 040 161
Available 24 hours
Article sponsored by A Better Way Funerals, celebrating local news.
